A weight has lifted off my shoulders I never knew was there. The sunshine is brighter, the laughter is louder, and the joy is overwhelming.
I'm already a Christian so it isn't a conversion I am talking about. But the fact that another part of God's plan in making me more like him has fallen into place. I have a new understanding of God's grace.
I knew God had saved us, so striving to be more like Jesus was our goal. To glorify God our purpose. I knew that and strived to live my life in order that in everything I do, I would be a walking, talking, advertisement for the amazingness of God. When I stuffed up, I praised God that he forgives, and go back to trying to glorify him again.
Maybe I had already understood everything I needed to know, but this week I saw it from a different perspective. I understood that in the above paragraph, the only thing that matters as a Christian is the first 6 words. "I knew God had saved us".
It doesn't matter if all my ministry fails. It doesn't matter if I always struggle with prayer. It doesn't matter that I will never be the "perfect Christian". Because God has already saved me.
Maybe that is obvious to you, but it wasn't to me. Maybe the fact that I am still at school means I feel like I have to work hard to get the marks I deserve. So I need to strive to be more godly to get God to love me more.
But it isn't like that! And the greatest news of all is, now I know that, I'll be serving God out of gratitude, not out of servitude. It won't be a burden it will be an honour and blessing.
So thanks for reading this confession. That I came to understand that even if I fail, I will be Never Alone.