November Resolutions

I have three things I want to do by next years November. These could be seen as cliche, but since I am saying it in November, not on New Years Eve, it's a totally unique idea! Sometimes I feel like we put too much importance on the new year. Why not think of it as a new day. Every day is a good day to make a resolution. Anyway, here are my three.

1. Write a book

Someone encouraged me to do this, but my first thoughts were "I'm not passionate about anything enough to write a whole book about it!" She quickly replied, "Write about yourself!" Although it may seem arrogant (It probably is), I could probably fill a book with stuff about my self.

But who would want to read that? Again, my friend came to the rescue, "You can write a book only for yourself you know." So other people might love it or hate it, I will try and write a personal memoir by next year's November.

2. Write a song

I've done this before, but although some are catchy, and I often hear my family humming the tune (Only because I repeat it 100 times over!), looking at real song writers, my songs seem fake. This is because, none of my songs are personal. I feint being depressed or being thoughtful, it is just a persona. So by November next year, I hope to write at least one song which is based on me personally. Then, it can truly be, my own song.

3. I didn't actually have a third one, but 3 resolutions is the norm isn't it?

Maybe it can be to be more outgoing. My sister gave me good advice that being shy can be selfish. I fear being embarrassed so I wait until others talk to me. They probably feel the same way, but they have enough courage to walk across the room and say hello. So by November next year, any time I see someone new, I will try and be the one who starts the conversation.

What do you think? Apart from the third one, all of them are very "me-centred" aren't they. Still they aren't just things that are one off, so you can keep reminding me of my promises...

Now it's your turn. What are your November resolutions?

Prone to Wander

I have been having some trouble thinking up new content for this blog. I don't want to talk about seemingly pointless things, but on the other hand, I don't want to come out and just preach all the time! Looking through my previous posts, they have really gone all over the place, and I still don't think I have found my own writing style yet. (Which I am kind of glad, imagine writing the same kind of stuff each week. Boring!)

I have come to the conclusion that for some time I will let my thoughts wander. Instead of forcing myself to maybe think about a certain topic or issue, my aim will be to improvise on the spot, with a blank page (or screen) in front of me. I hope that this gives a much needed fresh breath of originality to my blog, which to me seems to be getting a little too bland.

So I invite you on a journey into the unknown. Where curious metaphors and confusing analogies may lie, in the hope that I can edge a little more out of my shell.

I am always very thankful for your comments, and I hope you can continue to support (or disapprove) any of my humble writings.

A family of hypocrites

They know you the best; what makes you tick and what gets you worked up; you can be yourself around them; and they give you a chance to rest from putting on that "I am all right" face in society. I am talking about your family.

Image from Hoefi

Thankfully, I was blessed with a family that tolerates me as who I am. I cannot fathom the difficulty if I had to act sociably acceptable everywhere. I often let myself go at home knowing that none of my family will judge me, that they will understand. It's a cruel wor

ld, with society assuming the worst with whatever action you take. A little tear becomes a nervous breakdown, a short comment to self perceived as the first sign of madness, and a louder than normal laugh is turned into a disgraceful act of losing control. At home, it is different. With years of experience in understanding just me, my family does not distort the information, but takes it as part of me. Everyone is unique, right?

I am aware that many families do not work this way. With child abuse and neglect, the family can seem the place where your life is most tested, instead of being a break. However, there is another family that we have. A family based on a perfect father, who loves his children dearly, never letting them out of his sight. It is the church family.

Many visitors to my church are surprised to see how informal and friendly everyone is. Compared to the media's presentation, the church does actually feel like a real family. People are supporting each other in trials, rejoicing together in joy, and sharing their lives together. Most importantly, they accept each others faults and personality traits, and work on them together.

As I once heard "The church isn't full of hypocrites, there's still room for more!". The church family is one that looks at each other and says, "We BOTH are sinful aren't we", and together seeks to bring Jesus closer into their lives.

Just Keep Knocking!

Recently I heard of a girl who pressed paused in her walk with Jesus. She didn't deny him, but neither did she follow him, she just chose not to think about him for awhile. Her one reason for doing so was that she felt that Jesus wasn't doing enough in her life. She had waited for the holy spirit which she knew was promised to her, but after the initial "spiritual high" it felt that there was nothing there anymore. She thought Jesus had left her, so she chose to let go of him.

I always feel sad when I hear of people falling away or pressing pause on Christianity. Even though I have had a fair share of times when I thought "Why don't I just drop it all?", when I compare the world's values with Jesus' values, I see where real love comes from. What most makes my heart die a little is how the world can smother someone's senses, how it can entice so much their mind is clouded with a blinding haze, while God is trying to break through, blow the mist away to reveal the open sky of his unending love.

Coming back to my first paragraph, I initially heard of this girl's story in a talk at church, and my first thought was to ignore it and let all the "half-Christians" accept the challenge that he was giving. But God nudged me to look at her in terms of myself. It occurred to me that in the next five years, I could easily become like her. You could too. Slowly trying to take parts of my life away from God, until he has nothing. How can he mould his perfect creation if the clay runs away? Blaming God that he isn't changing me, when it is just because I won't let him.

What can we do? How can we continue to make sure God is present in our lives? Well, stealing from the man's sermon again, Jesus tells us exactly what we need to do.

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will opened to you." Matthew 7:7 NIV

We need to ask God into our lives. But this isn't a one off thing. As irregular humans we are, our heart often throws fits and kicks God out. So we ask God again to come back in. Ask and keep on asking, seek and keep on seeking, knock and keep on knocking!

Strive forward in asking and seeking God, maybe even everyday, because pausing on Jesus is not worth it. Giving up real love for some small thrills? Let God shine through, let him in, so he can let you out of the cage that sin has created.